It's Time To Speak Out

Over the last few days, I've noticed a campaign on Facebook asking you to post your favorite childhood cartoon to stop violence against children. It's great to see awareness spread virally from one simple idea (my favorite childhood cartoon: She Ra, Princess of Power).

And now I want to talk to those who have been abused.

I can't help but borrow from The Trevor Project, featuring celebrity endorsements from Kathy Griffin and Janet Jackson, who have spoken out on crisis and suicide prevention among gay or questioning teens: IT GETS BETTER.

Whether you've been abused, bullied, ridiculed, marginalized, or experienced any kind of trauma, whether gay, straight, bi, or whatever -- it can be hard to see past the present situation. You think there is no way out. You're ashamed. You have a horrible secret and can't tell anyone. Your self-worth and self-esteem are zero.

It gets better.

Having known friends in crisis, and having personally experienced trauma, I know how you are feeling. It is time to release yourself. It's time to speak out. Holding on to painful memories will only worsen over time.

There are resources and people who can help if you don't know where to turn. For some, family may not be an option, and there are others out there who will do everything in their power to make sure you are alright even at your lowest.

If you are in crisis and considering harming yourself:

• Give yourself distance - Say "I will wait 24 hours before I do anything." Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like harming yourself, doesn't mean that you have to actually do it this minute. Put some distance between your feelings and the action
• Talk to your family - open up about what is happening
• Talk to your friends
• Call your family doctor
• Contact your local crisis hotline (Hamilton it is 905-972-8338)
• Kids or teens - contact Kids Help Phone

If you know someone who is in crisis and considering taking his/her life, here is a checklist (thank you to a special friend for providing these tips). Be A.L.E.R.T:

• Ask if they are thinking about suicide.You may feel frightened to bring up the subject of suicide in case you think it will put the idea in their head. This is not true. Don't hesitate to raise the subject. Be direct in a caring and supportive way.
• Listen and show you care. Let the person talk about their feelings and listen carefully to what they have to say. Don't judge them and rather than dismissing it as a 'silly thing to do', try and understand why they are feeling this way. Let them know you care.
• Encourage them to get help and support them to do so. Asking and listening are the first steps in developing a sense of hope. Now is the time to move forward with this hope and get help to keep the person safe. You may feel out of your depth to help the person, but there are people out there who can and you can put them in touch with someone who is qualified and able to help them.
• Right now. If the person has an immediate suicide plan and the means to carry it out, do not leave them alone. Get help immediately by phoning a doctor, a local crisis support service or a help line. Ask them if they have a plan. If they do, get them to elaborate, what is the plan, do they have the tools to carry out their plan and do they have a time frame of when they are going to do it and a location. If you feel they are in immediate crisis ask them where they are so you can phone help for them (i.e. 911.)
• Tell someone. Never promise secrecy. Dealing with suicide can be difficult and you can’t do it alone. Find someone to talk to about your own feelings.

For me, it was a long road that could have taken a disastrous turn, but I am proud of the choices I made and I feel happy for where I am today. Finally.